When you see someone crying, what do you do? Offer to help them? Carry on with your business? What if it’s someone you don’t know? I often wonder what emotion we really mean to convey when we’re in a public setting. Do we want attention? Probably. This week has been one of the rougher ones, and I can’t seem but wonder why I let everything get to me. I find myself tense, muscles tight. I wake up in pain. I sit with my shoulders aching. My stomach gets upset when I eat. My body is very angry with me for some reason.
I know everyone has those days. Where you feel like its all just crumbling before your eyes. And you can’t help but feel suffocated. Today I broke down in tears. Ten minutes ago would be my third time today. The second time I cried today, I had let my mind wander too much after a very deep conversation with a few of my role models. We were discussing mental health, and the impact that suicide and depression has had on our lives. We want change, as the community has been in much pain. The gloomy weather reflects the melancholy atmosphere. We are grieving.
Yet sometimes I believe I am selfish. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to burden others with my problems. With my thoughts. With my struggles. My mind is far too complex for someone, anyone, to analyze. I cannot be fixed. I broke down in tears and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a person walk by the building. A few minutes later, he came inside and knocked on the door. He asked if I was okay. I told him I was fine, but he insisted. He asked if I had a lot of work to do. I said I was fine. He asked if I wanted to share. I didn’t want to burden him. I told him I was fine and that I appreciated that he came in to check. As he was leaving he said, “a little at a time.”
I was reminded why I love WM. Even if you think no one is looking out for you, someone always wants to help. Even if you don't know their name.